Between The Teeth

Monday, April 12, 2004

Planning The Wedding

I am in the planning stage of a wedding. Our wedding - after seven years together we have now decided to do the traditional affair. As the children are getting older and the family unit needs to be validated in our culturally refined society.

Though somewhat excited, I am also in conflict. As I write up the guest list, hunt for a dress, book the D.J and plan the day, I find myself feeling boxed.

As though I am packaging our family in fancy wrapping paper to present in front of our family and peers. Saying look at our lovely package, it is so lovely it must be perfect. How silly are weddings I think to myself.

People ask about the colors, the decorations, the cake and flowers. They seem to miss the point. Or have I lost myself in the wedding mafia.

My wedding without cultural reform would be abnormal, perhaps. I would like to give out invitations that stated how much people have influenced my life and my family. I would like to make them the stars of the show for blessing us with their love and support. The invitations would be 'Thank You' with no limit to those sent out.

I would like all people arriving to wear simple white cotton, and with fabric pens we would write a special autograph and note on everyone's toga. All of us looking alike no comparisions in our packaging.

I would like everyone to bring a plant, or potted flower, and all would leave with a different plant or flower as a gift of their value as people in our lives.

I would like to put uplifting quotes in all the party favors.
I would like to give a speech that would include all 150 guests, and brag about all the things I admire and respect, and love about them.

I would like my children to learn to appreciate the value of friends and family.

I would like all my guests to leave knowing that their existance is an important part of the magic of love, the magic we have. That they are gifts in themselves, that they have given my children, my husband, and myself, love and quality in life. For the love of a family, a mother and father to their children and to each other is an extension of the love that has raised them and surrounds them. Love can not exist independant of another.

So here I sit, planning the package, the colors, the decorations, the flowers, thinking to myself it will be okay because our family and those with whom we share our lives know the quality of the ourselves within that culturally-refined fancy wedding package. And those that don't, guess you'll miss the point.

What does a wedding mean to you?

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