Hug and Make-up
Life is full of all types of individuals. Aggressive, passive, shy, outgoing. We are all different yet the same in the area of emotion. Feelings have a tendency to creep up on us in our relationships with others. Sometimes we feel hurt or offended easily, other times it simply rolls off our backs. The closer the relationship with that individual the deeper emotions run. Although it is the care of repairing emotional injury that is most difficult to accomplish.
In the elementary school level, hurt feelings lead children in two different directions. One the hurt one would cry, and tell the teacher. The other more aggressive child could strike out, or throw something at the other. In more pleasing situations, they would remove themselves from one another while time passed and the issue now forgotten was resolved on it's own accord.
The teacher in the midst of emotional chaos would often ask the children to use their words, express why they felt hurt, and encourage a hug and make-up senario. So what is the best method in such emotional chaos?
I as a young child would cry, and tell the teacher, therefore the teacher would call for a hug and make-up affair that ended and resurfaced conflict within minutes. As an over-weight child I soon learned that this created a lack of respect from the other child towards me and progressively got worse.
Soon I was in junior high, the above often made the situation worse, respect loss from my peers led to more cruel and hurtful situations. I was bigger than most of the other kids so I took it upon myself to rally with the weak and bully the strong. Demand respect. That I did, and my social circle was limited to protecting the weak, and disliking all others. There comes a point when a bully can only demand respect from others so long. A fight erupted and my bloodied nose was there for all to see. Respect was now all but dispersed like morning fog.
I quit school for a year in grade 10, working many jobs, living on my own. I found it odd how that changed me and those around me. I was given respect on a different level, but I also learned how to respect all those around me in return. The realization that having none but yourself to rely on, for money, food , clothing and shelter, makes the insecurities of yourself and others petty, and unnecessary. Working for three different bosses at a young age taught me that problems need to be dealt with at the time. A problem brushed under the carpet can soon grow to an unmanageable size.
The following year I went back to school in the metric program. I had somehow built a strong amount of respect for myself and those around me. And that respect was returned beyond all my expectations. Even the teachers whom in the past has suspended me numerous times, were encouraging and supportive.
I graduated, proud, and around many friends regardless of their background. Though today at 30, is it harder to hug and make-up. Can problems be resolved through expression or otherwise. That was then, this is now, and where do I go from here?
Life is full of all types of individuals. Aggressive, passive, shy, outgoing. We are all different yet the same in the area of emotion. Feelings have a tendency to creep up on us in our relationships with others. Sometimes we feel hurt or offended easily, other times it simply rolls off our backs. The closer the relationship with that individual the deeper emotions run. Although it is the care of repairing emotional injury that is most difficult to accomplish.
In the elementary school level, hurt feelings lead children in two different directions. One the hurt one would cry, and tell the teacher. The other more aggressive child could strike out, or throw something at the other. In more pleasing situations, they would remove themselves from one another while time passed and the issue now forgotten was resolved on it's own accord.
The teacher in the midst of emotional chaos would often ask the children to use their words, express why they felt hurt, and encourage a hug and make-up senario. So what is the best method in such emotional chaos?
I as a young child would cry, and tell the teacher, therefore the teacher would call for a hug and make-up affair that ended and resurfaced conflict within minutes. As an over-weight child I soon learned that this created a lack of respect from the other child towards me and progressively got worse.
Soon I was in junior high, the above often made the situation worse, respect loss from my peers led to more cruel and hurtful situations. I was bigger than most of the other kids so I took it upon myself to rally with the weak and bully the strong. Demand respect. That I did, and my social circle was limited to protecting the weak, and disliking all others. There comes a point when a bully can only demand respect from others so long. A fight erupted and my bloodied nose was there for all to see. Respect was now all but dispersed like morning fog.
I quit school for a year in grade 10, working many jobs, living on my own. I found it odd how that changed me and those around me. I was given respect on a different level, but I also learned how to respect all those around me in return. The realization that having none but yourself to rely on, for money, food , clothing and shelter, makes the insecurities of yourself and others petty, and unnecessary. Working for three different bosses at a young age taught me that problems need to be dealt with at the time. A problem brushed under the carpet can soon grow to an unmanageable size.
The following year I went back to school in the metric program. I had somehow built a strong amount of respect for myself and those around me. And that respect was returned beyond all my expectations. Even the teachers whom in the past has suspended me numerous times, were encouraging and supportive.
I graduated, proud, and around many friends regardless of their background. Though today at 30, is it harder to hug and make-up. Can problems be resolved through expression or otherwise. That was then, this is now, and where do I go from here?
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