Diffuse thy Enemy
Awhile back I came across an article about “Explosive personalities”
They are the people who no matter rain or shine, they complain and blame.
They are the people that cannot count their blessing but dwell on the lack of.
They are the people that thrive on conflict and crisis.
They are the people whom put others down to keep themselves up.
They are the people that you can never please no matter the effort.
They are the people that make misery into company.
At the time, I read the article, I was dealing with an explosive individual. It seemed she would lash out regardless of the situation or topic. I walked on egg shells every time she came to visit. Worried somehow someway I would set her off.
Relief and true wisdom was revealed in the short write up on dealing with these individuals. Here is a summary of it’s content.
Misery and conflict are an emotion, just as we get a high from being in love and seek out that emotional bliss, so do explosive personalities. Ironically, they feel a sense of powerful bliss from the uncomfortable state they can arise out of other individuals. They thrive on conflict and turmoil because it is an extreme emotion and provides them with that high. Similar to that of a drug addiction, it has been proven that emotion stress raises your adrenaline.
Many people find relationships with these individuals both draining and confusing. Turbulent and uncomfortable but because these folks are present in our everyday lives we must learn to diffuse them.
That is where the author explains the difference between RESPOND, and REACT. We all tend to react in feeling of emotional stress. Just as we react to a ball being tossed at us. We protect ourselves and try like hell to catch it.
This reaction is the domino affect that helps feed the needs and craving of the “explosive personality.” We then are feeding them the drug and aiding in their self-destructive behavior. For example, “I cannot believe that, that is terrible. You must feel awful.” These kind of comments validate their negativity.
To respond, just like that of a Great baseball player, we must be prepared and ready without fear of catching the ball, and tossing it back. We must respond to the conversation, not react to it. “I am hopeful for you, I see your dilemma.” These are examples of the method of RESPONDING. In this way we are maintaining an air of positiveness that does not enable them to carry the conversation back into a negative direction. With no fix they will go elsewhere. Good Luck.
Awhile back I came across an article about “Explosive personalities”
They are the people who no matter rain or shine, they complain and blame.
They are the people that cannot count their blessing but dwell on the lack of.
They are the people that thrive on conflict and crisis.
They are the people whom put others down to keep themselves up.
They are the people that you can never please no matter the effort.
They are the people that make misery into company.
At the time, I read the article, I was dealing with an explosive individual. It seemed she would lash out regardless of the situation or topic. I walked on egg shells every time she came to visit. Worried somehow someway I would set her off.
Relief and true wisdom was revealed in the short write up on dealing with these individuals. Here is a summary of it’s content.
Misery and conflict are an emotion, just as we get a high from being in love and seek out that emotional bliss, so do explosive personalities. Ironically, they feel a sense of powerful bliss from the uncomfortable state they can arise out of other individuals. They thrive on conflict and turmoil because it is an extreme emotion and provides them with that high. Similar to that of a drug addiction, it has been proven that emotion stress raises your adrenaline.
Many people find relationships with these individuals both draining and confusing. Turbulent and uncomfortable but because these folks are present in our everyday lives we must learn to diffuse them.
That is where the author explains the difference between RESPOND, and REACT. We all tend to react in feeling of emotional stress. Just as we react to a ball being tossed at us. We protect ourselves and try like hell to catch it.
This reaction is the domino affect that helps feed the needs and craving of the “explosive personality.” We then are feeding them the drug and aiding in their self-destructive behavior. For example, “I cannot believe that, that is terrible. You must feel awful.” These kind of comments validate their negativity.
To respond, just like that of a Great baseball player, we must be prepared and ready without fear of catching the ball, and tossing it back. We must respond to the conversation, not react to it. “I am hopeful for you, I see your dilemma.” These are examples of the method of RESPONDING. In this way we are maintaining an air of positiveness that does not enable them to carry the conversation back into a negative direction. With no fix they will go elsewhere. Good Luck.
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